I needed to get out of the house yesterday. It was turning into another weekend of puttering around the house, kind of working but mostly slacking. Sure I was getting some work done for Chaotic Fringe, but that consisted of hitting a few buttons on my workhorse computer every five minutes while it rendered files. Of course, there were the TV shows I wanted to review for an article, but the prospect of binge watching a week’s worth of TV shows didn’t seem as exciting as it did when I put the project together.

This past month and a half has been a bit of a roller coaster for me. I wouldn’t dare say I was going through a midlife crisis, nor am I under any allusion that what I’ve been up against has been tragic in the way worthy of public sympathy and support. No, I have just hit upon a series of events that have been on a downward spiral, nothing earth shaking or life changing, but just general slightly annoying incidents that have piled up into a slightly depressing turn of events. For the most part I have taken to plodding along on little projects I can successfully complete. It’s pretty geeky of me to get happy with completing a sorting of files on my internal network system, but as boring as those accomplishments are completing them makes me feel I have some control of events that have been less than stellar in the last month and a half.

When I took a quick mind clearing vacation after the news from my father, my main goal was to feel sorry for myself at that moment, then come back with a renewed sense of self. I would have to say for the most part it worked because I don’t think if I hadn’t taken the time off I would have handled the life obstacles as well as I have. I’ve had people around me who have had similar events happen to them like I have experienced and their handling has been less than ideal in my opinion. We all handle stress and adversity differently, I get that, but a lot of times I have to realize life has things happen and the magnitude of events has to be placed in proper perspective. Of course there are things that can seem devastating but in my mind things have to be put in proper perspective. Like that old 80s Elton John song, I’m still standing better than I ever did.

What seems like depression really isn’t, not in my mind. I’m just really focused on figuring out a way of getting out of the general negative vibe in the air without succumbing to it. I’m sure that’s why I’ve made an effort to putter around the house and fix up minor things. Any sort of victory is something I can look to as a positive against the negative. What has been a stumbling block, in retrospect, has been a lack of looking at the big picture. Getting out of the house yesterday, because of a well-placed call from a friend, helped a lot in regaining some perspective. I know things aren’t as bad as they seem but maybe I needed another voice to confirm that case.

The thing is, from all the things I’ve been through the past month and a half, I don’t think there has been any huge revelation or life affirming knowledge that can be passed down. Life happens and we navigate life as best we can. I think we can place importance on events they don’t deserve. I think we can overreact to situations and in overreacting we can gloss over life taps and life hacks that can help us in future events. When something seems too overwhelming I think a lot of us are willing to attribute the event to a higher power, taking the burden of solving the issue out of our hands. In doing that we give up the opportunity of learning from the event. We assume the next time we have a life crisis the higher power will take the burden off our shoulders. It rarely occurs to the person that the higher power may have placed the tools in front of us to solve our own problems.

<< PREVIOUS
NEXT >>

Copyright © Chaotic Fringe LLC. All rights reserved.

Song to Match Life - October 06, 2014
Home | News | Entertainment | Blog | Podcast | IMVN | Everquest 2 | Links | Photos | V-Blog