I have a confession to make. I love Rachel Maddow. Now, before you go telling me the obvious, I'm not Marvin Gaye singing love songs in love with her. I'm more Dr. Who companion kind of in love with her. If I had the ability I would love to spend a week with her, just being in her presence like some black maid in the 50s, following her around and calling her friends Miss Susan or Mr Eric. I would want to hear her stories on the road, I would love to got to the store to buy a bunch of alcohol for her, then bring them back and watch her mix them into exciting cocktails. I would love staying up all night with her, listening to her stories, hearing her frustrations and even though her homosexuality wouldn't be openly discussed (remember I said this was a 50s black maid fantasy) I would relay my own experiences of being black in America, having to use the back doors, having to be invisible to all, and telling her one day things would be all right and she would gain strength by my simple yet powerful message.

OK, so watching and remembering Douglas Sirk films for the past few days has given this fantasy an odd twist but you get the idea. When I saw my parents last year, my jaw dropped when I realized they watched her show on a regular basis. It wasn't appointment television but in the week I was there, on two occasions I heard my parents say Hey, isn't that Rachel woman on right now? She's really good.

You have to understand my parents are a part of that 50s thinking. In their mind, and yes it is hard to say stuff like this about my parents, but they think of homosexuality as a sin. They don't understand it, they don't want to understand it, and if someone told them it's in the bible and it's wrong, well, that's all they need to know. Now, they have progressed in their way of thinking in that they don't hate homosexuals, they just hate the act. It's the old Christian knot of loving the sinner but hating the sin. So it is shocking to know my parents make it a point to watch Rachel Maddow when they can.

When I found that out about my parents, it made me like Maddow even more. She won over my parents.

If the article I read was correct, there are two openly gay anchors on MSNBC and because it is a rumor, which is what she was addressing, there may be another gay anchor on another network. In a perfect world, it wouldn't matter if you are gay; reading the news isn't changed by your sexual orientation. We don't live in a perfect world. While this isn't the world of Douglas Sirk, when Sarah Jane was found out to be passing for black in Imitation of Life, she was treated differently. She was 'the black one.' She lost jobs. It tore her up that she was black because she thought she was white, wanted to have the privileges of being white.

Rachel Maddow was asked if she was frustrated because a well known news anchor hasn't come out. She said if they are gay they have a responsibility of coming out. I may have put too harsh of a spin on her words. It wasn't like she was militantly saying they needed to come out, but was gently saying to be true to yourself one must be honest on who they are. While I agree with her on principle I think the person would have to make that decision on their own sans pressure from outsiders.

Some people work themselves in the role of being a trailblazer. They want to knock down doors, tear up conventional wisdom. A vast majority of people just want to live one day at a time, live their lives with as little conflict as possible. Not all people have a support system allowing them to fight the good fight. Other people, surprising as it may sound, have too much support. They have a sense of stability in their life and even if they are living a lie, they would rather have that than take a risk of the truth shattering their lifestyle, tossing friends away and losing whatever prestige they have.

So while I can agree with Maddow in saying someone may have a responsibility to come out, if nothing more than to show others they aren't alone, coming out is a personal process that isn't the same for everyone.