There are interesting things happening with GenX Noir. I have been bugged for the past year about what direction GenX Noir was going. It can be hard to focus on a path I want to follow. Sometimes, the path I think is right isn’t the right one. The biggest thing we can do to ourselves, and I have to remind myself of this constantly, is pigeon hole ourselves into categories society puts us in. We can also define ourselves in a way that makes others comfortable but makes us miserable. I had to be reminded of this by an 18-year-old I met at Comic-Con. Reading the post from them and looking at the decisions they have made; I see where the decisions they have made are best for them. Since they are in their skin, someone coming along and saying they made the wrong choice for their situation is stupid and honestly they aren’t deciding what is best for the person. I know it’s been said that we define ourselves but when you have ‘the world’ defining you by superficial means, there are times you just want to be ‘normal’ and go with the crowd. When that happens, and it has happened to me a lot this year, I have to remember I’m the one living my life and have to make the best decision for myself, not for what others think.
If I had gone with the crowd, I wouldn’t have started Chaotic Fringe over 20 years ago. If I went with the crowd, I wouldn’t have taken the leap of faith and worked with ‘he who will never be mentioned again except in quiet whispers,’ who showed me I did have the skills and the drive to learn about filmmaking. The fact that he exploited me, well, I could say we exploited each other since I learned a lot from him, that may have been a bargain I shouldn’t have made, but that’s because I’m looking at things in the aftermath. As much pain as he caused in my life, I did learn skills I use to this day. If I had walked away when some people (re: my parents) thought I should have, what would have been my life now? Would it be better or worse? One reason why I take the philosophy of not dwelling on second guessing myself of choices is we’re never really sure what would happen if we took a left instead of a right. We can play the what if card on every decision we make, but we made a choice for the time and moment, we have moved forward, and what might have been isn’t guaranteed to have been a better choice than the choice we did make.
I wish I was doing more film work but I’m not. While I had been feeling down about that I have more ways of being creative. Chaotic Fringe and Reality Gambit have kept me busy writing. A new project I have started is something I call the commuter series. I just released the first batch of photos, which can be seen on my Flickr page at https://flic.kr/s/aHskwEHZoC and every month or two I will be releasing a new set of photos for the series. With the photo series I want to show people who are commuting on public transportation; those getting up early in the morning to head to work or around town. The decision to use black and white for the work is I want to evoke a Frank Capra Americana style to the work. After watching a lot of those classic Capra movies (I love the montages he does in almost all of his films where ‘average Americans’ get ready for the big event.) I wanted that same kind of classic look in the camera work. Because I want to capture people in the moment, I’ve had to forgo the Canon camera and employ smaller and discreet cameras. This has definitely pushed my skills in getting shots..
The biggest thing happening for GenX Noir will happen this summer. Because of the generosity of some friends, I will be heading to Cleveland for the Republican convention and the week after that I will be heading to San Diego for Comic-Con. It will be an interesting comparison on two big conventions this summer with vastly different demographics. I haven’t decided yet if I will attend the Phoenix Comic-Con, definitely not sure if I’m going to give a talk this year, but there are projects on the board and I’m excited.