Last week, Sunday April 27 at 1:35pm, I turned 50 years old. My original plan was to make this birthday special. I was hoping to travel abroad, but the purchase of my first home changed my perspective quite a bit. By the time things were finalized and the move was completed, there wasn’t enough time or money to have the type of celebration I wanted. I convinced myself, after long bits of soul searching, that my home was celebration enough and I shouldn’t bother doing anything special. That thinking lasted for a week and when I tried again to plan something, there was definitely no way I could celebrate how I envisioned without making sacrifices I wasn’t willing to do.

I made some plans for Tijuana, booked a luxury hotel and decided the best way I could celebrate my birthday was to make sure on that day I would have no plans. For the time before my birthday, I wanted to experience things. I had no real definition on what things were, but I wanted to go off script and savor the fact that I was 50 and even considering some wear and tear on my body I was relatively healthy of mind and spirit.

Looking outside the hallway window on the 5th floor of the hotel

Leading up to my actual day of birth, I told myself I was going to eat at a place called Caesar’s in Tijuana. I was the birthplace of the original Caesar salad and I had been there twice. The food there is excellent, but on the afternoon before my birthday I ate at a small taco stand near my hotel. The sights, sounds and smells of the little shop were intoxicating to me. It was so urban, so organic that I really didn’t feel like sitting in a stuffy restaurant when I could experience such stimulation to my senses. At that point I told myself if I was in the mood to go to Caesar’s I would but it wasn’t a priority.

On the morning of my birthday I turned the TV onto the only English language local station from San Diego. For a few hours I watched Sunday morning TV, which consisted on CBS’ Sunday Morning and Face the Nation. Sunday Morning was a downer experience. On that day of all days they devoted the whole show to death and how we deal with death. Yes, surely this would be a pick me up for someone who hit the century mark. I decided to think of the broadcast as a positive signal to living life to its full potential. I have to say sitting in a luxury hotel eating room service helped the process along.

After the broadcast I took a walk down to the lobby, went outside and just sat. There was a breeze which has a hint of moisture in it. The air was cool. I know it sounds geeky but I felt like I was from Arrakis and had been taken to Caladan. Considering I live in Arizona and travel frequently back to my birthplace of San Diego, the comparison seems apt. I sat in front of the hotel for an hour, soaking up the sights and sounds. I noticed a number of children about, which reminded me of the last time I was in Tijuana on my birthday. It took some time for me to put together all of the posters and decorations around the hotel. My birthday happens to be the time of a celebration of children in Tijuana. Lots of kids were arriving to play and to have brunch. That was my cue to leave. I like other people’s kids but I didn’t want to hang around kids on my birthday.

Outside of the hotel looking at the skyline.

I took a very fun ride in a taxi to 6th and Revolution in Tijuana. I walked less than half a block and I heard someone shouting my name. I was a little confused because I had a bunch of people shouting at me when I left the taxi, but mostly it was vendors shouting out my friend, boss man or big man. I looked around and my name was shouted again. I remembered the man’s face but not his name. He told me he was Hugo, a friend of Carlos. That’s when things clicked in. Carlos was the bartender I celebrated a birthday with a few years ago. I saw Carlos about six months ago under similar circumstances; me wandering down the street and him shouting out my name. Hugo was working for a new place and had a new person working for him. That waiter was tending to this guy I’ll call Captain America because he was wearing a Captain America shirt. They had already started bar specials so I figured I would take the two beers in a bucket special. I did the little play I always do when I’m barhopping in Tijuana. I assure the bar guy that I’m there to get drunk, I tell him to make sure I don’t get drunk, and I make sure to drink beer so I can regulate what I drink. It’s not foolproof, but it’s better than them trying to get me try all sorts of mixed drinks and running up a big tab.

A hotel across the street from the bar. Not the one I was staying in.

The outdoor bar. Margaritas Village.

Hugo and the other bar guy. I don't remember his name.

Hugo worked hard to get them to go inside the bar.

Hugo was sure I wanted to have a lady with me since it was my birthday. He kept pointing out women who worked at massage parlors or other dance clubs. He kept mentioning he could get someone to come down to keep me company. I played along with him but come on, I was going to take someone he recommended to my hotel with all the camera equipment I had. Morals aside, and believe me unless the woman was of telenova quality I wasn’t putting my health on hold, I didn’t want to get rolled. In any case, Captain America had a few friends show up and it was an interesting conversation we had. Together we looked like a drunk poster for some politically correct project. A black man from America, a white guy from England, a Hispanic guy now living in Mexico from the US and an Asian guy all hanging out in Tijuana. The Asian guy was gun ho to place a bet at the betting parlor around the corner. His friends were trying to convince him not to while the bar guys kept pointing out women we should pick up. All the while, the clothing store a few stores away was blasting 80s music and I don’t mean Michael Jackson or Prince songs. Depeche Mode, Yazoo, English Beat and other bands of that era. It was like listening to old KROQ so I was in heaven.

My first of many buckets of beer. The shot is Tequila, not Butch.

They tried selling me stuff all day.

My drinking buddies; Capt. America, The Englishman and The Gambler

Hugo told me these two women worked at the massage parlor around the corner. He kept trying to get them to sit next to me. Didn't work.

The Gambler just before he left to place his $100 bet.

This looks bad but the police actually helped the guy.

Some Americans thought the 'zonkey' was part of the famous donkey shows they had heard about. I had to explain their error.

Hugo and I had talked about Butch. Butch is a drink I made up which is equal parts Tequila, Vodka and Whisky or Scotch. One of the reasons I had a falling out with Carlos is the last time I had it I forgot to negotiate a price and the guy gutted me bad, charging me about $20 a drink. Pass a few of those out trying to be a big shot and the bill goes through the roof. I wanted to have a Butch for my birthday but when we started talking price he was going to quote me the same $20. I told him at that price I wasn’t sure so he talked about it with the other bar guy. Amazingly, the price got dropped to $7. So at the exact time that I came into this world, I drank Butch in commemoration.

The first Butch at the correct time of my birth. Two more would follow.

The fish tacos were good!

Captain America tried to pick her up and failed.

Two more failures for Captain America.

She got mad at Captain America. He took her out a week ago and forgot her name.

Things got a bit fuzzy after that. Before I had the Butch I had already downed two of the beer specials. I had a few more of the beer specials after the Butch and had two more shots of Butch. The Asian guy left to make his bet, but never returned so I don’t know how things went. Captain America and I talked for a few hours and I know I gave him more advice than he wanted. I had so much to drink I just kept talking about life and stuff. Hugo kept pointing out women for me, but I was sober enough to not take him up on the offers. When I saw the police drive by in the paramilitary gear, I figured it might be a good time to go. Oh, I did have the fish taco special before I left. I think because it was outside and all the activity going on those tacos tasted like heaven! For whatever reason that food at the time was better than anything I could have gotten from Caesar’s.

Just before leaving I went to the Oxxo store next door. It’s kind of like the 7/11 of Mexico. I was going to buy something before going to the hotel but I focused in on the cigarettes behind the counter. I heard on the news a year or two ago about the dramatic packaging they were using to illustrate the hazards of smoking. It was rejected for the US customers but apparently it was being used in Tijuana.

I got back to the hotel around 4pm. I went to my room and remembered thinking I was wanted to get a strawberry margarita in 30 minutes. Flipping through channels I saw the Julia Roberts / Hugh Grant movie Notting Hill was on. The next thing I knew Emmanuelle in Space was on the screen. I looked at my clock and it was almost midnight. Yes I was asleep for eight hours. That is the power of 8 beers and 3 shots of Butch.

If you want to see video of the wild ride from the hotel, click here.