Something I dislike with dealing with people, especially someone I’ve grown fond of, is that sometimes I have to say something that is beneficial to the person in the long term that hurts me in the short term. A better way of putting it is I essentially must submerge my selfish feeling for them to give advice for the greater good.
I just got hit with that situation again. I want to say the right things, the logical things that will mean I have to sacrifice the feelings I have, but it’s the right thing to do. I know how easy it is to manipulate and change feelings, but deep down I’m a good person and will make the logical choices. It hurts because my happiness is sacrificed, and even typing this is sounds petty and selfish.
Look, I know the decision the person is struggling with needs to be their decision. The opportunity is great, and she needs to make the choice without any hindrances, but it hurts. I’ve grown comfortable with her company. I feel selfish wanting to try for something that, for the moment, hasn’t been expressed. It seems selfish for me to try and convince someone to stay in a situation they are unhappy with. I’ve done the same thing myself and I can justify the choices I’ve made, but I can’t say I’m fully happy with those choices.
I can’t allow someone to go down a possible path I want them to go down because it makes me feel safe and comfortable. I couldn’t live with myself. My life is a complicated mess and I can’t hope that miraculously the person will see life as I do. Even thinking about it I don’t fully think I can convince someone to see the world as I see it.
I must give the logical and practical advice, as much as I dislike it. I’ve been down this road before. While I may want to hope that I’ll have some revelation that will make things work out in my favor, it’s not going to happen. Trying to force an outcome that will be beneficial, in my eyes, to me and not in the best interest of the other person is selfish.