If This Sounds Like a Rant . . .

I think of myself as a person who can put up with a lot of drama. I don’t like drama other than fiction. I try to let it wash over me, try to walk a mile in another person’s shoes and will try everything under the sun to avoid confrontation.

I may be seething under the skin, but I will try, whenever possible, to try and avoid expressing frustration and anger. If you see me in an angry mood, the best thing to do is to say nothing. I will probably work it through, calm down and I will be back to my normal self in no time.

I’ve told this to many people, I’ve talked about my secluded moods and how I work through them. If you can understand that about me, we can go a long way in resolving any perceived conflicts or misunderstandings on my end.

Time and again, despite my warnings, there are friends that push the buttons over and over again. I tell them the story, hoping they get the message, but a few people still will test me. When I’ve hit my limit, when I’m tired of giving excuses and trying to justify the actions of those I feel that have wronged me, I just cut them off.

I’m done, it’s over, I’m out of there.

I have two examples of exercising this. A few days ago, I was having some real struggles at my job. It just seemed that the world took a big dump on me. At the end of the day, I took a few deep breaths, assessed why I was feeling and reacting the way I was, and went to work the next day determined to have a positive outlook on life. The reason I did this was because I realized, despite me being angry with some people, there were things I could have done to better prepare myself and because I was in a new environment, I was reacting to the unfamiliarity to the environment more than being upset with the situation or individuals.

I stayed positive, open and engaged and the day was better. In fact, by the end of the day, I was able to contribute and engaged with all of the information we got that day.

Then I got home!

Someone sent me a text message asking for money. There are people, and you know who you are, that I have given money to in the past. I can be generous but I’m not a bank. If I think you have a need, sure, I will help out. However, if you come to me with a “I’m starving and I need some money” when I see you smoking cigarettes, downing some Hennessy and you just ordered some Dr. Dre Beats from Amazon, I’m going to be slightly inclined to help out.

If this has happened a number of times, you’re gonna get Juiced. Remember the old song The Rain by Oran “Juice” Jones? You gonna be dismissed. You gonna be out, all packed up out on the streets. It’s my world, you just a squirrel trying to get a nut!

This person was on the fence as far as friendship’s go. I was slowly beginning to trust them again after the last encounter a while ago. I knew they were trouble, but I kept telling myself it was me misinterpreting, me jumping to conclusions. After that long and uplifting day yesterday and to be met with that tweet (you can’t call?) I was done.

I’m sure they will try to contact me more, maybe even saying it was a mistake to ask and profusely apologizing, but I’m done.

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