With a lot of the chaos I’ve been dealing with, I have to look at the humor in the absurdity of things. A lot of times life is going to do what life does. No amount of trying to force situations to what you want them to be will make them ultimately work the way you want them to be, I believe.
For me, when I start to, in a way, let go and follow the flow, take a few course corrections, things will work out OK for me. Now, that’s not to say I haven’t tried to break my own ideas. Trust me, there have been things recently that have pushed me to places I didn’t want to go, but even with what I’ve considered wrong turns, I can still hold my head up high and considering the alternatives, I’ve come out of the struggles with small battle scars.
There was another health scare with my father over the weekend. It bothers me, but I’ve gotten to a point where I’m not dwelling over the issues coming up. Somehow, someway, he pulls through the episodes. My mother has her own health issues, which she downplays because of father’s issues. I know they’re older and bluntly, it’s just a matter of time before one of those calls will be THE CALL. All I can do is financially prepare for it. Because I have the focus, all of a sudden I’m sacrificing a lot to get the funds in order and getting to the financial goals are within reach. Years of trying to save and get out of debt hasn’t worked but with this pall hanging over me I’m able to cut, pay bills and save.
Crazy that it has taken the tragedy to get myself there but it’s what has to be done.