I was just reminded revenge is a waste of time and energy. As much as I want revenge today, as much as I need to lash out and take one of God’s creatures from the sky and drink some scotch as if it were the blood of mine enemy (thank you Space: Above and Beyond) I will resist the urge of hunting down those who wronged me.
This morning I woke up feeling very bad. I had the shakes and shivers. I made it to the light rail, barely, and I seriously contemplated walking back home. The sickness went down a little and I got on the light rail. By the time I got to my bus transfer stop I was feeling better, not 100% but better.
There was some mix up with the bus this morning. First the bus showed up late, then we waited 5 min even though it was late, then another bus arrived and we were told to get on the new bus. I could feel the shakes happening again.
When I got close to my stop 20 min later things got confusing. I remember hearing the radio. I remember missing my stop and I remember stumbling out of the bus. I remember seeing a cord dangling and I kept pulling at it but I didn’t know what the cord was from. Maybe three minutes later, in the fresh morning air, I was a bit more oriented to realize I wasn’t holding my backpack! It was still dark so I traced my footsteps back to the bus stop and no backpack along the way. I started to panic because I couldn’t believe I left the backpack on the bus. The hope I has was since the backpack was big and there were only 2 stops after where I got out, I hoped the bus driver would have the backpack and I could pick it up.
Ten minutes later the bus returned. I told the driver I left my backpack on the bus. She gave me a good description of my just as she informed me someone walked off with my back at the last stop. I walked ¾ of a mile to the last stop, in a vain attempt hoping a good Samaritan would have left the back. No luck. I checked with IKEA, the shop in the area, hoping they had the pack. No luck.
Thousands of dollars of equipment, including my laptop, gone. In what seems to be my pattern, I gave myself time to plot sweet revenge on the person who took the backpack. Imagining beating the person within an inch of their life while wielding my heavy duty light saber hilt felt like sweet and ironic revenge.
Next I started thinking of the things I didn’t bring with me, like the new Star Wars miniatures I wanted to put on my desk but didn’t. As much as I wanted to be thankful about what I hadn’t lost I got bad again about what I did loose. Hey, chalk it up to human nature. Well, by the time I had made it to work I already had a new password worked out and had a checklist in my head of all the accounts I needed to change right away. One thing I have to admire my parents about is they raised me to be practical. I’ll allow myself to get emotional, to get caught in the anger and frustration of the moment but in little time I’m going to try and find an exit strategy and some way to get back on my feet.
It’s been 24 hours since I left home and started the tragic events yesterday. I’m putting in a call to the transit company this morning but I’m not putting a lot of faith in my belongings getting recovered. I’ve thought a lot about what I could have changed yesterday but honestly, while I’m not a fate person, I have to make sure I don’t dwell on woulda coulda shoulda. I have to work on forging ahead.